Life...happens

So I quit my job to be home with 7 of my 8 kids. With three of them having disabilities...therapies and many doctors appointments...it came out cheaper for me to be home with them. My bf works and I get some child support for a couple of the kids and disability for one. So we will survive. It is just rough.  It's been almost a month and im finally getting a routine set for the kids. But I'm no where near close to where I want or need to be. Being out of the home with schooling and clinicals and my externship...I forgot how to "house wife" lol. But the kids, bf and I are working together to get things in order.

Keep on moving

Here we are. Already in March. So much has been set in motion. I have a firm grip on my goals and they are never out of my line of sight. Every now and then an obstacle decides to try and test me...but I am not going to be stopped. It feels good to know im pushing forward despite the hellish time I tend to have. I'm learning to let things go. I have a feeling the next three months will be pretty amazing. 

Until next time....

2013: A year in review

Reflecting on this past year I realize I have met none of my goals. I have worked hard and taken care of business but I have truly just spun my wheels. This doesnt stop tomorrow on January 1st 2014....it stops this very second. I know I am capable of far more than I have accomplished this past year. I know I am worth much more than this. So are my children.  I have lived in hell for far too long. It ends tonight.

So much more to learn...

As i am tucked away safely in my cocoon I am learning...slowly...but learning, to let go of all that does not serve me and all I can not control. This is not an easy task. I have spun my wheels, ran in circles and into a few brick walls. But I am finding my way. Isn't that the sole purpose of change, after all? So I feel the point here is...I am still making many changes. When I began this journey I thought putting a time limit on myself and what I wanted to accomplish would push me harder. It seems to have caused more stress than good. I am still moving forward, I am still growing my wings, and am still excited to see what I turn out to be. :-)


This journey is teaching me to trust in the universe. I am here for a reason and believe that now more than ever. If it is to reach someone out there and let them know they are not alone....then that would make me happy.

I need to be pushing my book more and work on getting my new book published and book 3 finished.
If you would like a copy of "Contents of a Desolate Mind" Send me a message! :-) I will update more. I keep saying that but...life....

Blessed Be...more to come

changing more and more...

While in the midst of my metamorphosis I am finding more and more out about myself. It is amazing...when you remove things (or people) from your core...clear yourself and just be, you can find out who it is you really are. NO ONE should define you. NO ONE should control how you feel. Ever. And for too long I allowed that. In that, I lost who I was. I love myself. I really do! I used to hate myself. But see, it wasn't me I hated, it was the fact I let someone hurt me, remove all I loved about myself and cause me to become something I am not. I am not there yet, but I have come so far and now, there is no turning back. 

Change...

In the midst of letting go of all which does not serve me, I have found myself. I have realized that while change is scary it is often necessary to transform inside and out. Letting go of people is not easy to do but something we have to do when those people do not want us in their lives or their hearts. Moving on and realizing you are worth all the love and adoration, time and energy you placed into another human is very rewarding. I still have so far to go, but I am moving in the right direction and it truly feels good to know that my story has just begun and while I am not in total control of what happens, I am in control of how I choose to react and which way I choose to go.
I felt like I was suffocating for so long and I finally feel free and a spark of happiness. I won't lie and say I am totally happy, because lying to you or myself benefits none. But I feel that spark and there is so much more to come!
Until next time...

Step One...continued...

Cocoon phase has begun. A typical stay in a cocoon is about 3 weeks...but seeing's how I am human (lol) lets make that 3 months for the first phase. This has to be the hardest thing I have ever done thus far. But I have heard that things worth fighting for and doing are not easy. So here goes...I will post updates weekly =) I will emerge a better version of myself.