Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013: A year in review

Reflecting on this past year I realize I have met none of my goals. I have worked hard and taken care of business but I have truly just spun my wheels. This doesnt stop tomorrow on January 1st 2014....it stops this very second. I know I am capable of far more than I have accomplished this past year. I know I am worth much more than this. So are my children.  I have lived in hell for far too long. It ends tonight.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

So much more to learn...

As i am tucked away safely in my cocoon I am learning...slowly...but learning, to let go of all that does not serve me and all I can not control. This is not an easy task. I have spun my wheels, ran in circles and into a few brick walls. But I am finding my way. Isn't that the sole purpose of change, after all? So I feel the point here is...I am still making many changes. When I began this journey I thought putting a time limit on myself and what I wanted to accomplish would push me harder. It seems to have caused more stress than good. I am still moving forward, I am still growing my wings, and am still excited to see what I turn out to be. :-)

This journey is teaching me to trust in the universe. I am here for a reason and believe that now more than ever. If it is to reach someone out there and let them know they are not alone....then that would make me happy.

I need to be pushing my book more and work on getting my new book published and book 3 finished.
If you would like a copy of "Contents of a Desolate Mind" Send me a message! :-) I will update more. I keep saying that but...life....

Blessed Be...more to come

Friday, July 12, 2013

changing more and more...

While in the midst of my metamorphosis I am finding more and more out about myself. It is amazing...when you remove things (or people) from your core...clear yourself and just be, you can find out who it is you really are. NO ONE should define you. NO ONE should control how you feel. Ever. And for too long I allowed that. In that, I lost who I was. I love myself. I really do! I used to hate myself. But see, it wasn't me I hated, it was the fact I let someone hurt me, remove all I loved about myself and cause me to become something I am not. I am not there yet, but I have come so far and now, there is no turning back. 

Tuesday, July 9, 2013


In the midst of letting go of all which does not serve me, I have found myself. I have realized that while change is scary it is often necessary to transform inside and out. Letting go of people is not easy to do but something we have to do when those people do not want us in their lives or their hearts. Moving on and realizing you are worth all the love and adoration, time and energy you placed into another human is very rewarding. I still have so far to go, but I am moving in the right direction and it truly feels good to know that my story has just begun and while I am not in total control of what happens, I am in control of how I choose to react and which way I choose to go.
I felt like I was suffocating for so long and I finally feel free and a spark of happiness. I won't lie and say I am totally happy, because lying to you or myself benefits none. But I feel that spark and there is so much more to come!
Until next time...

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Step One...continued...

Cocoon phase has begun. A typical stay in a cocoon is about 3 weeks...but seeing's how I am human (lol) lets make that 3 months for the first phase. This has to be the hardest thing I have ever done thus far. But I have heard that things worth fighting for and doing are not easy. So here goes...I will post updates weekly =) I will emerge a better version of myself.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Creating the cocoon...

Step one- let go of all that doe not serve me.

I have to let go of the people who do not want me or return what I give.
For this metamorphosis to occur I have to do this. The one thing holding me back from moving on is carrying the weight of the world. Holding onto someone who obviously doesn't want me in his life.
Why do we do this? Why do we chase after people who are running in a different direction? How is it even possible for us to grow feelings in such a toxic atmosphere? Somehow we do this and the toxicity suffocates us and we lose all control of conscious and coherent thought.
For me to transform into the butterfly, I must first encase myself into the cocoon. Cutting myself off from all the negativity and all that does not serve me in this transformation.


Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Everything Changes

Life moves at speeds that are hard to comprehend. Sometimes we are blindsided by it. When life throws things at you that you feel you won't survive, you have to take the challenge. I have eight very precious children and they each have such electric personalities. I am truly blessed. And now I begin my journey as a single mother. I am going to do my best to blog more. (I know I keep saying this...) I have so much to share and say. I hope all who read this (what 3 of you? lol) are having a great week. Love & Light. Until next time...