tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3014534276250186282024-03-13T04:23:42.875-05:00The Misadventures of SupermomI am a single mother of 8 children...all mine. LOL. Welcome to my little corner of the interwebs. Follow me on my journey to survive motherhood. Feel free to ask me questions...I will answer and even put questions in the spotlight. Most of all enjoy the tales of my misadventures....you couldn't make this shit up.enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-25120957660078451962020-10-21T16:10:00.001-05:002020-10-21T16:10:17.785-05:00biopsies. ..My throat biopsy came back fine. My polyps, however, not so good news. both are midgrade and pre cancerous so I will be monitored and watched closely. <div>Now the 28th I go for my uterine surgery. I am excited and scared. But have some hope. </div><div>I am doing better in my recovery. Between my medications and group therapy I am feeling better and finally feeling some form of hope. </div><div>I hope all of you out there who struggle but are afraid to ask for help, ASK FOR HELP. Your mind is an organ and needs medical attention as well. We have to tale care of mind, body and soul. Please know you are not alone and you are brave to wake up and deal with the same fight everyday. keep fighting, keep going. you are worth it and you are loved!</div>enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-52838443817940375782020-10-10T17:44:00.001-05:002020-10-10T17:44:55.088-05:00Today is two years Since Hurricane Michael ...Sitting here, still displaces from the major Cat 5 hurricane, Michael. I see memories pop up on social media about today while I watch it rain from the window. My heart is still broken for our losses. I can not believe we still have not recovered. I never in my life thought I would see such devastation. It was incredibly unbelievable. As we wait for the house to be finished, I feel so lost and scared of what the future holds. It seems we really got screwed here while the entire city of lynn haven higher ups ripped off so many. With hundreds of Bay county families still displaced today, it is clear what comes first around here. Finding help is difficult. We don't want handouts. We lost 22 years of our life. An entire household, gone. We are starting from scratch and this is one of the moat difficult things I have had to do in a very long time. This has wore my kids out, it has wore my mind out. The frustration is real. <div>I am trying to be positive for the future, but with so much uncertainty...it's rough.</div>enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-29908224866234495202020-10-10T08:45:00.001-05:002020-10-10T08:45:32.436-05:00yesterdays proceedureSo I had a colonoscopy and endoscopy performed yesterday. I have several things going on. The two that scare me are the things they biopsied. There were 2 polyps and something in my esophagus. Everything else is manageable. I go back the 16th of November. That's 4 weeks I have to wait for the results. This sucks. <div>I do have to say the staff where I had my procedure were amazing. The anesthesiologist recognized me having a panic attack and gave me something to help. It was nice to have someone notice. I mean, I can't control it and don't know what I am doing really, and he noticed and helped. I truly appreciate that. When you have anxiety and panic disorder, it's really hard to vocalize what is going on sometimes. I'm out here trying and some days I feel like I am drowning just to keep my head above water, and to have another human say..Hey, I see you...it really helps.</div><div>I got a call to achedulemy surgery, I go October 28th. Now for this I am really nervous but hopeful. I hope she can fix me and help. I will update as I know more. </div><div><br></div><div>Until.next time...</div><div>Remember to take some time out for YOU today.</div><div><br></div>enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-41600238644451445352020-10-08T11:03:00.001-05:002020-10-08T11:03:26.121-05:00this week...well, Tuesday I found out I have 6 large fibroids and I am going to have surgery Oct. 20th. <div>Then Tavi got medically cleared for her hearing aids. So now we start the process the 21ts of Oct. </div><div>Tomorrow is my colonoscopy. I am so nervous and scared. The prep sucks. ugh. I am hoping to get some good news at soke point because I have reached my limit pn shitty news. </div><div><br></div><div>More to come...</div>enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-64313891864257935182020-10-05T06:37:00.001-05:002020-10-05T06:37:48.496-05:00This week...I go Tuesday for my ultra sound to check the mass in my uterus and will immediately see the doctor afterwards. Then Friday I have my colonoscopy. I am terrified. I am alone in this. With the pandemic, even if I had someone, no one could be with me. <div>It makes me think of all those out there facing their own mortalities, with or without a support system, we are alone. It is isolating, it's scary and I don't know how some of you do it. Does this mean I won't face it? No. It just means, I feel alone, empty and scared and have no one here to.hold my hand while I face this. I do have some of the most amazing children in the universe who are rooting for me. They are the fuel that keeps me pushing forward. </div><div>As I sit here and drink my coffee and get ready for group, I am trying to breathe and remind myself...I got this.</div>enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-40905423871944008502020-10-04T13:11:00.001-05:002020-10-04T13:11:53.992-05:00the ups and downs of recoveryOne thing, I am having to realize is, it took my mind a couple of years of constant stress to break. I need to keep in mind that recovery is not overnight. With any illness there is a time period for healing and it may be different for each individual. We can not gauge our progress with other's. <div>I am also learning that you can not heal in the same environment that made you sick. This has to be the most difficult aspect of it all, for myself. </div><div>I have to accept things that I can not change and instead change this environment. When flowers begin to die we don't rip them up, we try and fix the soil around them. I need to fix my soil.</div><div>In light of mental health week, I urge all of you who find yourselves struggling to seek help. Turn to someone. There is no shame in saying you have had enough and need some help. </div><div>It is usually those of us who fight our battles alone, those of us who push harder and hide our problems that need help most. Also, it is the same people who do not want to burden others with our issues. </div><div>I hope you find the strength and courage to keep moving forward. You do not have to fight alone. </div>enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-50162611019173060682020-09-25T21:20:00.001-05:002020-09-25T21:20:23.074-05:00It's okay not to be okayThis is my new mantra. Why is mental health so taboo? Why do we push ourselves past the breaking point, just to appease others? When we break a bone, we do what we need to so we can heal and when we get a cold we rest and get better. So why is it so hard to allow our minds time to heal? <div>I guess I felt I could handle anything and everything all by myself. I did not give myself a moment to process things I have been through the past 2 years and my brain just...broke. I finally had enough. It should not have been that way. </div><div>Reaching out for help is not easy, admitting you can't handle everything being thrown at you...it just made me feel weak, as if I wasn't good enough because I couldn't handle what was going on in my life. Truth is, I couldn't. And I should have sought help sooner. </div><div>It will be a long road to recovery and you know what? I am going to allow myself time to mourn what I have lost and time to heal. Why should I feel ashamed?</div><div>I hope that if you don't feel okay, that you know...IT'S OKAY!! Take time for your mind just as you do your body. Seek help before that breaking point and please, for the love of all, do not let anyone make you feel as though you are weak or unworthy just because you need help! </div><div>💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙</div>enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-21586226252643197992020-09-20T18:04:00.001-05:002020-09-20T18:04:46.093-05:00some form of normalcy I did 1.3 miles today. When I tell you it was hard, I mean it was hard. This is the first time I have been able to since my brain broke. I crave normal. I want our home back. I miss everything. My heart breaks for my kids. Will we have Christmas together, in an actual home this year?? They ask me constantly. It kills me to see the looks on their little faces when I tell them I am unsure. We are trying so hard. Living this way has made saving for a place so hard. It seems like it is always something. <div>I have group tomorrow and my echo of my heart. Hoping for a good day. </div><div>The panic attacks have slowed up some, so I have been able to eat, and breathe. </div><div>I think I am headed in the right direction. </div><div>I just can not give up. Not yet.</div><div><br></div><div>Until tomorrow...</div>enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-32476833532618268342020-09-18T16:13:00.001-05:002020-09-18T16:13:39.640-05:00So much has changedI love to keep journals, but I absolutely suck with this blog. I did make a promise in group today that I would work on this blog this weekend. So here goes!!!<div><br></div><div>QUICK OVERVIEW OF THE PAST TWO YEARS...(warning...may be long)</div><div><br></div><div>So, July 24th 2018, my life really changed. After 2 years of working hard on losing from 296 down to 175, I endured emergency open back surgery. My L5-S1 disk slipped and pinned my nerves and spinal cord on my left side. We were not 100% sure of what damage had been done and while they said I may walk fine again, running would most likely be years off for me. I was crushed. Running had become my life! It was a huge part of my arsenal for my weight loss. It was one of my favorite things to do! I decided to just go with the flow and see what happens. The surgery was good. I did not get any hardware installed and he said I had degenerative disk disease. </div><div>I was sent home to heal. This process was grueling. Being sent home to 8 children and no help was okay. I managed and they actually stepped up and did a lot around the house. As weeks went by I got stronger and more confident that things were going to be good!</div><div><br></div><div>Then, October 10, 2018, Hurricane Michael hit our city, head on, with the fury of what can only ne described as apocalyptic. That day forever changed our lives here in Bay county. We lived in a cinderblock home. The walls held up, mostly, but our roof ripped off, windows broke, water poured in around us, another wall crumbled...it was devastating. </div><div>We ended up losing 90% of what we owned. Fema was absolutely zero help. </div><div>It is now almost 2 years later and our family is still seperated and waiting on the labdlords to finish the home. They are amazing landlords and have done so much to tey and help, but they are in the same situation. </div><div>Tha pandemic started in February, 2020. This has the entire world crippled. I keep wondering if this is just a dream. 🥺</div><div><br></div><div>A few weeks back, I ended up in the e.r. I kept feeling a strange tingly feeling come over me, from head to toe, my heart would race, I got dizzy, I felt pure death and doom. I just knew I was dying. </div><div>Once in the e.r. blood work, scans, exams...found nothing major. I was anemic. My potassium was off. But my heart was fine. I was sent home. Between Aug 19th and Sept 14, I have been in the e.r. six times. Along the way a few minor things have been found. But the doctor told me, I had a nervous breakdown. These were panic attacks and I had severe anxiety. </div><div>Everyday has been a struggle! I can not believe stess has done this to me. But I am a fighter. I have a few health issues I am facing and praying turn out okay. But my body has wore out with the stress.</div><div><br></div><div>I made the decision to seek help. I found an amazing place that talked to me and gave me options. </div><div>I chose a very intensive therapy and just began it this week. We had another hurricane side swipe us for 2 days, so, this came at the perfect time. </div><div><br></div><div>I am going to keep this documented. (I know, I keep saying that lol) I have books of journals I have kept and so great with them, but am adding this blog as I feel mental health is so important, just as physical health. I did so much to get my physical health in order and neglected my mind. Here is where I get my life back! Right now. </div><div><br></div><div>I invite you to peek into my daily life. I am hoping to reach others out there and inspire. </div><div>If you are feeling hopeless, or that this world would be nothing without you, please think again. Seek help. CALL 1-800-273-8255. 💙💙💙💙</div>enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-31054452380451837802017-01-16T18:39:00.001-06:002017-01-16T18:39:25.973-06:00Weight loss journey<p dir="ltr">Two years of making changes, 64 pounds gone. 42 left to go. I am far from where I want to be but so far from where I was. And I am never going back. Only forward. I will be posting more (I know, lol, I say that and disappear ). I will be posting tips and updates on my journey.<br>
Bow as for the kidlets...Renni turned one Dec 5th. It has been an adventure! 8 kids in the home still. Never a dull moment. All of the kidlets are thriving and such amazing beings. Hope this finds all of you doing well! <br>
If you need guidance, a place to vent or want to know more about weight loss, drop me a message here! If I can do this, anyone can! <u>#noexcuses</u></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTQwiCzuvx6T4_1cKnx2PJAmhJMPVDj83nW1fwqOQ9URxHaFylBUH9ikZTsQpUNTpmS9lQ50i-CQgviFsXcpTLfkfgd3nclSwI4tFXxZX_pMVZLuj6gGOPT9-ePFNGf5T4DhJKCFWHVt0/s1600/FB_IMG_1483774158812.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTQwiCzuvx6T4_1cKnx2PJAmhJMPVDj83nW1fwqOQ9URxHaFylBUH9ikZTsQpUNTpmS9lQ50i-CQgviFsXcpTLfkfgd3nclSwI4tFXxZX_pMVZLuj6gGOPT9-ePFNGf5T4DhJKCFWHVt0/s640/FB_IMG_1483774158812.jpg"> </a> </div>enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-89683626212827957292015-07-23T14:27:00.001-05:002015-07-23T14:27:01.825-05:00Got test results!!!<p dir="ltr">Our baby has all of her proper chromosomes and no extras!! She is going to be just fine!! So for mommies out there who have a couple of markers show up on an ultra sound....don't give up hope. That was the most grueling wait of my life...but so happy to know our baby is okay in there! We worry. We are moms. We want our babies to be perfect so hearing something isn't right...is hard to handle. They are going to keep an eye on her cyst but are confident that it will clear up! </p>
enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-90386144978704737332015-07-20T10:53:00.001-05:002015-07-20T10:53:27.302-05:00The Waiting game<p dir="ltr">Well today marks the 7 day time frame for my test results on the baby. Of course it could be as late as the end of the week before we find out. It's the wait that gets to me. Then there are the nightmares of her being born with so much wrong. I am terrified. I want her to be okay. My heart aches. The pain of not knowing if she is okay... All of the what ifs...i try so hard to shut them off but they scream at me. I need to know either way, so i can prepare my self. I know my doctor is busy and there are other moms, possibly in worse situations than i find myself at this very moment. So i am trying my best to be patient. But any mother knows that when it comes to the health and well being of our babies , worrying is just part of it. I will post more when i know more. Until then...</p>
enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-51573777790117047362015-07-15T15:41:00.001-05:002015-07-15T15:41:02.885-05:00Not so good news...<p dir="ltr">On Monday we had our level two ultra sound. The baby, a girl, perfect in every way. However, a cyst on her brain and a thick neuchal fold suggest possible trisomy 18 or 21. I got the free cell dna blood test done to check the baby's chromosomes. We should know more by the 23rd. My heart is breaking. I am filled with worry. I have read up on things and found some stories that give me hope. But still...as a mother...i worry. I will post updates as i know more. We are now half way through the pregnancy. I feel her moving...i love her so much. I just want her to be healthy. Trying to stay as busy as i can so i don't go mad. I have nightmares of how she will look. I wish there was a way to make time go faster...just to get me to the 23rd. </p>
enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-75984259687793244932015-05-07T22:25:00.001-05:002015-05-07T22:25:59.199-05:00A new addition coming soon!!!<p dir="ltr">Well...we are expecting another baby to add to the tribe! Due dec 1st! <br>
I got sick about a week and a half after my last AF. Seriously had no idea i could be pregnant. But here i am 10w2d today! It's going to be an adventure. Trying to find an OB who will allow me to VBA2C has been hard. Wanted another homebirth but here in florida there is no one :( i will be documenting our journey. Stay tuned.<br>
</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-irIeAIoZPA4/VUwssaBJXxI/AAAAAAAAGdo/s1600/20150420_150036.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-irIeAIoZPA4/VUwssaBJXxI/AAAAAAAAGdo/s640/20150420_150036.jpg"> </a> </div>enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-80003371207806953632015-03-16T08:14:00.001-05:002015-03-23T13:03:47.921-05:00Parenthood...it's not for the faint of heart<p dir="ltr">My world is lonely. Have you any idea what it is like dealing with an autistic child that also has epilepsy? It's a double whammy. The things i deal with on a daily basis is pure HELL. Trying to get help for him. It's impossible. Wait lists galore. I do this mostly alone. No one wants to come around him because they don't understand. He has broke everything i worked to buy. Because he has this horrific meltdowns. I can't even imagine what it's like inside of his mind. I often feel abandoned. Who do i talk to? I have called every place possible. When i say i have...trust me...i have. Every program...waiting list. Idk what else to do. I feel like a failure as a parent because i have a broken child. I do not speak of it often. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe i should start blogging our daily life. I have never felt so alone and helpless in my life. But i refuse to give up on him. My heart is broken. I want answers and am always left with more questions. Do you have any clue what this is like????</p>
<p dir="ltr">So this is a post i put out on my fb. I want to spread more about this. My son,Nik, is not a bad child. He is broken. I hate using that word...but literally his brain is broken. He has right side brain damage and his brain fires off every few seconds. It shouldn't. He is moody...he has terrible meltdowns. This has literally been since the moment he was born. He will be 9 on the 30th. We have so many questions and very few answers. My child should not be another statistic. Having meds shoved down his throat and us left alone to 'deal with it'. I see a boy who wants to see the world and touch it with his soul but is bound by a label. As a mother i feel i am not doing enough. Even though i am falling apart i try so hard to keep it sealed. Doing this is slowly destroying me. I am going to start posting about our daily life. I keep starting this blog and get overwhelmed but i need to do this. There have to be other parents out there that understand. </p>
enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-87504907060504559512014-04-30T10:44:00.001-05:002014-04-30T10:44:46.594-05:00Life...happens<p dir="ltr">So I quit my job to be home with 7 of my 8 kids. With three of them having disabilities...therapies and many doctors appointments...it came out cheaper for me to be home with them. My bf works and I get some child support for a couple of the kids and disability for one. So we will survive. It is just rough. It's been almost a month and im finally getting a routine set for the kids. But I'm no where near close to where I want or need to be. Being out of the home with schooling and clinicals and my externship...I forgot how to "house wife" lol. But the kids, bf and I are working together to get things in order. </p>
enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-72037162476330504732014-04-30T10:39:00.001-05:002014-04-30T10:39:46.495-05:00Keep on moving<p dir="ltr">Here we are. Already in March. So much has been set in motion. I have a firm grip on my goals and they are never out of my line of sight. Every now and then an obstacle decides to try and test me...but I am not going to be stopped. It feels good to know im pushing forward despite the hellish time I tend to have. I'm learning to let things go. I have a feeling the next three months will be pretty amazing. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Until next time....</p>
enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-75216495685235003162013-12-31T16:28:00.001-06:002013-12-31T16:28:23.260-06:002013: A year in review<p dir="ltr">Reflecting on this past year I realize I have met none of my goals. I have worked hard and taken care of business but I have truly just spun my wheels. This doesnt stop tomorrow on January 1st 2014....it stops this very second. I know I am capable of far more than I have accomplished this past year. I know I am worth much more than this. So are my children. I have lived in hell for far too long. It ends tonight. </p>
enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-2140005599136704782013-11-13T16:05:00.000-06:002013-11-13T16:05:17.584-06:00So much more to learn...As i am tucked away safely in my cocoon I am learning...slowly...but learning, to let go of all that does not serve me and all I can not control. This is not an easy task. I have spun my wheels, ran in circles and into a few brick walls. But I am finding my way. Isn't that the sole purpose of change, after all? So I feel the point here is...I am still making many changes. When I began this journey I thought putting a time limit on myself and what I wanted to accomplish would push me harder. It seems to have caused more stress than good. I am still moving forward, I am still growing my wings, and am still excited to see what I turn out to be. :-)<br />
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This journey is teaching me to trust in the universe. I am here for a reason and believe that now more than ever. If it is to reach someone out there and let them know they are not alone....then that would make me happy.<br />
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I need to be pushing my book more and work on getting my new book published and book 3 finished.<br />
If you would like a copy of "Contents of a Desolate Mind" Send me a message! :-) I will update more. I keep saying that but...life....<br />
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Blessed Be...more to comeenigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-65882256905045883712013-07-12T14:06:00.000-05:002013-07-12T14:06:05.276-05:00changing more and more...While in the midst of my metamorphosis I am finding more and more out about myself. It is amazing...when you remove things (or people) from your core...clear yourself and just be, you can find out who it is you really are. NO ONE should define you. NO ONE should control how you feel. Ever. And for too long I allowed that. In that, I lost who I was. I love myself. I really do! I used to hate myself. But see, it wasn't me I hated, it was the fact I let someone hurt me, remove all I loved about myself and cause me to become something I am not. I am not there yet, but I have come so far and now, there is no turning back. enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-91202990913527997302013-07-09T19:54:00.002-05:002013-07-09T19:54:46.351-05:00Change...In the midst of letting go of all which does not serve me, I have found myself. I have realized that while change is scary it is often necessary to transform inside and out. Letting go of people is not easy to do but something we have to do when those people do not want us in their lives or their hearts. Moving on and realizing you are worth all the love and adoration, time and energy you placed into another human is very rewarding. I still have so far to go, but I am moving in the right direction and it truly feels good to know that my story has just begun and while I am not in total control of what happens, I <i>am </i>in control of how I choose to react and which way I choose to go.<br />
I felt like I was suffocating for so long and I finally feel free and a spark of happiness. I won't lie and say I am totally happy, because lying to you or myself benefits none. But I feel that spark and there is so much more to come!<br />
Until next time... enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-65083050386908862932013-06-23T12:07:00.002-05:002013-06-23T12:07:30.198-05:00Step One...continued...Cocoon phase has begun. A typical stay in a cocoon is about 3 weeks...but seeing's how I am human (lol) lets make that 3 months for the first phase. This has to be the hardest thing I have ever done thus far. But I have heard that things worth fighting for and doing are not easy. So here goes...I will post updates weekly =) I will emerge a better version of myself. enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-77325742903396966992013-06-20T17:46:00.001-05:002013-06-20T17:46:15.267-05:00Creating the cocoon...Step one- let go of all that doe not serve me. <br />
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I have to let go of the people who do not want me or return what I give. <br />
For this metamorphosis to occur I have to do this. The one thing holding me back from moving on is carrying the weight of the world. Holding onto someone who obviously doesn't want me in his life. <br />
Why do we do this? Why do we chase after people who are running in a different direction? How is it even possible for us to grow feelings in such a toxic atmosphere? Somehow we do this and the toxicity suffocates us and we lose all control of conscious and coherent thought. <br />
For me to transform into the butterfly, I must first encase myself into the cocoon. Cutting myself off from all the negativity and all that does not serve me in this transformation.<br />
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enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-28103159734952157612013-01-30T12:44:00.002-06:002013-01-30T12:44:54.689-06:00Everything ChangesLife moves at speeds that are hard to comprehend. Sometimes we are blindsided by it. When life throws things at you that you feel you won't survive, you have to take the challenge. I have eight very precious children and they each have such electric personalities. I am truly blessed. And now I begin my journey as a single mother. I am going to do my best to blog more. (I know I keep saying this...) I have so much to share and say. I hope all who read this (what 3 of you? lol) are having a great week.
Love & Light.
Until next time...enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301453427625018628.post-40785527923658495652012-11-04T21:55:00.001-06:002012-11-04T21:55:40.726-06:00what a week!The last week was spent in and out of town for doctors appt's, dealing with things deciding to just break around here and everyone being sick off and on. First the oven quits, then the dryer quits, the internet goes down (mediacom had issues with something 43 of us were without), we all have strep (not strep throat) aaaand all of our meds were hell to get! PHEW! I am soooooo ready for this week to be good and productive! The good thing is, the oven is fine, the heating element was just loose, the dryer just decided to start working again (it is 8 months old!) the internet was fixed this evening, we are all feeling a bit better and meds got taken care of!
I spent the weekend cleaning and going through more stuff to get rid of. Our garage got flooded (it is detatched) a couple of times and we have so many things that got ruined. =( SO they have to go to the trash. I have a ton of phone calls to make this week for Nik's therapy and Chris' eval. Sending love and light to all of you reading this and hoping your week is awesome! I am tired and ready for tomorrow. Night all!enigmaanjelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06363506087556108923noreply@blogger.com0