Tuesday, October 25, 2011

A Whole New Life...

Since we left the "Cursed house", things have gotten so much better for us. I truly believe there were forces trying to help us and push us in this direction. We are healing in so many ways. I just can't get over how much sleep we have been getting! Sometimes I catch myself waking up at night to see if we are still really here. To see that we are really not back there and this was not all some kind of cruel dream. It has been over a month and I guess I need to adjust to the normalcy still. Soooo, to help this along I have been writing on the cursed house and hope to have it published this coming year. Work is going good, getting some more hours as christmas is coming and also I will have two months that I have to work for free so I wont be making money. I will have to put away enough money for about 3 months worth of bills so that we can survive during this time. There is more to come. Bookmark my blog and follow me!!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Change is in the air...

So much is happening all at once and all for the better. Work is going great, school as well and we finally got out of the toxic house! I truly believe things happen for reason and something kept pushing us to move, if it was not one thing it was another. Then, several things went wrong all at once and we knew, SOMEONE was trying to get our attention. So we started searching for a new place. We were turned down by every apartment place and rental place in our town! Why? Because they did not have places big enough that we could afford. So finally we were (last resort) searching craigslist and found a nice little home. Well we came and looked, it was perfect! Just enough room for all of us, they would allow our animals here and we may buy it next year! It is at the top of our price range, but that is okay! We are safe, happy and getting back to healthy!
A lot has changed, not just with the move, but within me as well since we left that house. 9 years of pure hell! And anyone who ever stayed with us, even if it were a short period of time, can tell you how horrible things were! I know there are going to be tough times, I believe that is all a part of life. But health, wealth and happiness suround me and my my family and it is not going to stop. I have opened up to all the good and stopped letting the little things stop me.
Keep an eye out for more. We are finally all unpacked (after 3 weeks lol) and have things, for the most part, in order. So as we move forward in this amazing ourney, I will be documenting things.

Until next time...

Thursday, June 16, 2011


Hello all. I hope everyone is doing well. I have had so much on my plate lately. We had to take Nik to another doc today. He has a lot going on. He is 5 and on 7 medications! Its nuts, but he is a little trooper and keeps on moving forward. Sometimes I feel so sad for him, but then he laughs and smiles and does something silly and I feel everything will be okay.
I am so bogged with school and this new job. But I love it! I love that junior stays home with the kids and is such a good daddy! I have tried and tried for years to get where I am now. Sometimes I am thankful he lost his job. I mean money wise it hit us hard but otherwise it seems like the best thing to every happen! And for that I am grateful! All of my kids are trying so hard to work together and keep the house nice and be good for daddy while mommy is out. Here I sit at 130 am, most of them are sound asleep. Tavy ofcourse, is wide awake sitting here with me lol little turd. But I just can't help but think how lucky I am. Sleep deprived, working my butt off, and happy as can be! I am done with letting things get to me. I do not have time for it. I have 8 beautiful beings here that I need to keep my head up for. They are the reason I do anything and everything and honestly without them I am nothing.

I have also been thinking lately. I have seen so many people who have terminal illnesses making bucketlists. I hought we were all terminal. I mean we are ALL going to die. So why can't we have a list of things we want to do in our lifetime? I am making this challenge to all I know...make a bucket list. I know perfectly healthy people who get killed everyday. No one knows what tomorrow holds. So today, cross something off your list. Did you hug the ones you love? Make it a point to do so everyday. Never assume someone knows you love them. We take so much for granted and should let others know they are loved, needed and would be missed!

Take care all!

Thursday, June 9, 2011


passed my med school exam. I scored 23/30. 30 being max, 15-18 being average 20-22 above ave and 23 and up pure awesomeness lol meeting tomorrow about my job and I will start my internship (1390 clocked hours) under a doctor in 14 months. until then its study medicine medicine medicine. I can't wait! I graduate april 22nd 2012. so the end of the world has to wait because NOTHING is going to stop me.
I also wanted to let everyone know, I am not on FB often so for updates and such look here. I am just over fb, ms and the like. I just don't have much time for it anymore. I think of all my friends and love and miss you all. I have 8 lives to protect, care for, love and support and I want the to have a good life so I must better myself in order to provide that for all of us. I will be helping others and making good money once I am a PA. I will have a little more time once school is done and I will only be working one job with a doctor so I will be home most weekends and nights.
I also started making thekids clothes and diapers for the little ones. Turns out I can sew! lol who woulda thunk it?

Keep updated with my crazy life. Thanks to all o you who have backed me in my choices and understood (and forgave) my busy-ness (is that even a word?)

Light and love!

Monday, May 23, 2011

So it has been a while...

Things have been so insane around here. Trying to get a job, juggle 8 kids and the millions of things that entail the above. The kids are doing great. They all passed home school evals and will go on to next grade. The two eldest will start virtual high school (actually graduate with credits in our county!) and the younger ones will go on with my guidance.
I have a lot on my plate currently and want to reiterate how busy I am. I do not mean to seem as though I am ignoring anyone. I currently do not have a phone to text or call anyone. We gave those up for now. We made a choice to homeschool 8 children and we have responsibilities that outweigh luxeries that we could really care less about.
The lifestyle my family and I live is rather unusual and many still do not understand. We love our big family. While 8 children was not "in the plans" I am loving every minute of being the CEO of this big home.
What I want to touch on today is to help others get an idea of our life. This is something I have tried to stress before but I suppose I have gone about it all wrong.
Imagine (those of you who have kids) how busy you are with your one child, two kids, 3 kids, 4 kids...double that and add one who is disabled, the responsibility of teaching them at home...everything we do revolves around this little beings. THEY come first. End of story. No one else's feelings are considered when it comes to the choices we make. We could care less how our family affects YOU. YOU are not in our home. I know this sounds harsh, but do I ask you to do things for me knowing you work, have kids and such? No.
I am busy enough with my own life and family.
Now for those who do not understand ow we do it...
We are used to this chaos, and live for it! I love this life! While at times I am exhausted, I am happy. IDK why people have to act so shocked when they see us out in public. ("they are ALL yours?" "how do you do it?") I know several moms with more kids and they love it as well. I have not yet met a mom with a lot of kids say, "OMG IDK what to do with these kids", I usually hear that from moms with one or two kids. and I can't help but laugh.
Also let me clearify we do not live off state assistance. I am an author, freelancer and currently a full time student for my medical degree.
We do have a very tight budget yet we live well because we shop smart! I always tell my husband that even if we won the lotto I would till do what I do now! I love it. If anyone has any questions other than how do I do it and do I know what birth control is (and anything like that). Please post them here! I am going to be transforming this blog over the next few weeks so please keep checking in!
For those who know me personally, you know what it is like here lol and thank you for being so awesome and understanding!

More to come

Friday, March 11, 2011


Not a lot to write about really. I have put in more apps all over. My prometrics exam is march 26th at our local test site. We were told this site was no longer testing, but its where I must be for mine. I am excited and nervous. I pray I do not fail as I only get one shot.
I am going to be volunteering for our local red cross. Junior and I will be a team doing DAT and Afes calls. Just one week out of a 5 week or so cycle. We want to donate a little of our time to our community. I know having 8 kids is a huge job but in that job I have a responsibility to teach my children. We feel that showing them that even though things are rough and a bit bad for us, helping others is important. This is a huge thing to us and I do not get why some people want to shoot us down for it. No, neither of us are employed. Not for lack of trying!! Our store closed, thanks to BP's BS! First scare tons of people from coming here then all the lies. And did we get money? nope. *breathe...*
So instead of us sitting around drowning in self pity, we are trying to reach out to others. We want to help our community. We start next week. I am excited to work with many people I met while going to class at the red cross. Many wonderful people work there. I see opportunity for growth in many ways.
Our children will learn as well and that is important to us.
As for the kidlets, they are doing great! The weather is getting nicer and I can't wait to be hitting the beach every week.
Well I hope everyone is doing great and you all have a safe and fun weekend! I believe we have daylight savings time this weekend also. I am excited for days to be longer!

until next time...

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

such a bitter sweet day

Today marks two years since I brought Juniper into the world. After all the fighting i went through for my right to birth how I choose. THen along came Octavia. I had wanted to have a home birth again but this time let the medical stuff be in someone else's hands and I ended up losing trust and faith. I ended up in the hospital because my labor stalled. But it dd with Juni too and I was able to bring her forth without one problem. It made things worse when at 9.5 cm's the doctor said NO vbac for me. Now here I sit celebrating an amazing birth but then I think of how Tavy was robbed of that right. There was NO medical reason for what I went through and now I totally understand the term "birth rape" more than ever. It is so hard for me right now to celebrate an morn at the same time. I feel guilty for feeling happy and then feel horrible about Tavy's birth. I don't have that to share with her. All I have are horribly panful thoughts of that day and that makes me feel even more guilty. I feel as though I have been "unplugged" from myself. Like a cord from the wall. I can't believe my reproductive history has to end so tragically. SO many keep telling me I should just stop and be happy. But until you have been through it (and I pray you never know this pain) you can't truly say what you would do. Because I used to say the same thing.

Well on another note, I graduated my training. Still unemployed. Why? you ask. Well it is because I have 8 kids and they fear I am not dependable. Here I am, willing to work 2nd shift and wekends and just need one day off a week (on a week day) and no one wants to take a gamble on me. I also had a lawyer look into it and while it is wrong, it is NOT discrimination as there is nothing under the statutes about having children. Now if I were gay, or my religion interfered then sure. But all I can do is keep trying.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

almost 4 months!

Its been a while since I have blogged. A lot has been going on. For one I am over halfway done with my training and now in the process of getting a job. I am exhausted lol but I love it. I miss the kids and Junior but I am doing this for them.
Tavy is getting so big! I just can't believe it. All of the kids are growing so fast though. Juni will be two in a little over a month. Nik will be 5 and Chris, 16! Where does time go. :*(
This is going to be a short blog because my key board is messing up. Hope everyone is doing well. Will update again soon!