some form of normalcy

I did 1.3 miles today. When I tell you it was hard, I mean it was hard. This is the first time I have been able to since my brain broke.  I crave normal. I want our home back. I miss everything. My heart breaks for my kids. Will we have Christmas together, in an actual home this year?? They ask me constantly. It kills me to see the looks on their little faces when I tell them I am unsure. We are trying so hard. Living this way has made saving for a place so hard. It seems like it is always something. 

I have group tomorrow and my echo of my heart. Hoping for a good day. 

The panic attacks have slowed up some, so I have been able to eat, and breathe. 

I think I am headed in the right direction. 

I just can not give up. Not yet.

Until tomorrow...