I can't believe it has now been a month since Octavia came into our lives. Yesterday was a full month. She is 9lbs 7 oz and 21 inches! She is growing so fast. Too fast if you ask me. I am feeling a little better. Let me reword that, I am still hurting and depressed, but I am learning to deal with it better. I am not sure I will ever "get over this". But I think it will get easier to ignore or deal with as time goes by. I still have nightmares, really bad. I am praying I get that call in 2 weeks for the CNA job. I think I need this. I mean I stay busy at home, plenty, with 8 kids. However, we need money and I need to work. I can't stand struggling. I am not used to it. I did not grow up struggling and got used to several years of having plenty of money. I have started over a few times, been a single mom twice and pretty much been there done that with enough in my life to say I have been through 3 lifetimes in one. So, now I would like things to level back out and things to get better. I am ready to accept the goodness the universe has for me and my family.
I am taking the kids pictures this week. Time to fill my walls up more with pictures of my munchkins.
I am also working on getting a group together locally for women who have had traumati c sections or forced into them for no real reason. If you know anyone who has been through this and is around panama city or surrounding areas please contact me through this blog.
I would like to make this issue known. It is very real and needs to be addressed. Women do not need to be made to feel stupid for feeling this way.
Well that's it for now.
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